To Condom or not to condom?

I was lucky enough today to be given a condom! I have to make it quite clear that this is not something that happens to me everyday, but when I explain why, I am hoping people will understand my excitement. The said article can be seen in the attached photo. This was one of a variety being handed out to Year 12 students. They are in their last term of schooling and there seem to be a constant parade of seminars and study sessions that school organises to make this time less stressful for them. Frequently there is food at these dos. And occasionally, because they are turning 18, at least the majority of them, there are information sessions about good sexual health and safe sex. This was not quite a session, but we did have a lot of leaflets on sexually transmitted diseases and planned pregnancies. We also had a fairly comprehensive display of condoms. The students seemed to snicker a bit, some of the bolder ones made the usual enquiries about whether they came in a larger size! But on the whole they were not behaving as though they thought it was a slight to their morals etc.

A couple of the girls later came to me and we started talking about how it would have been better if humans had been designed in a way that women had some sort of easy contraceptive measure they could use too..not as invasive as an IUD or a contraceptive patch, but less slow acting than the pill. I found that none but one had actually used a diaphragm. As we talked I idly flicked through the multi coloured packets in front of me. One of the girls complained that when she was younger boys did not like using them, it was considered brave to be risk taking. As my eyes grew larger while my pupils contracted…a special teacher trick by the way, she quickly assured me that it was no longer the case. We all agreed that it was lucky most boys did not know what they were doing the first ten or so times, other wise there would be more teenage pregnancies.

Suddenly I noticed another pair of hands on the table among the prophylactics. It was one of the older teachers at the school. She gave me a couple of furtive looks and I swear I saw her ears swivel a bit as she tried to catch what I was saying to the girls. I got up, and walked over to her and smiled sweetly. And she told me that she was worried that the presence of so many condoms, in such ickle lollipopsy colours were sure to send the hormonally charged kids straight into each others arms! I kid you not! You could have knocked me down with a condom. I tried to reason with her, saying, ‘But they are already having sex!’ At which she said, ‘And whose fault is that?’ We batted similar remarks for several minutes before someone came and collected her, either for a trip back to the asylum or the convent, I forget which one.

And I came back and sat down. My ‘coven of deviants’ had left, for nothing more dangerous than English Communications and Legal Studies. Not one condom had been taken beyond what we had given them, and as far as I know, none of the kids sneaked off for anything hotter than a fiver worth of chips from the local deli. I sat there thinking of the strange dichotomy of a society that on the one hand sells only adult female clohing, ie, mini skirts, crop tops, halter necks and fishnet stockings for females aged from zero months to when they actually become adults, make shows like Toddlers and Tiaras for little girls to be sexualized beyond recognition and then holds off prudishly on giving out condoms because it will promote sex.

I have friends who are like the proverbial reality show mum, getting all excited when they have a kid that boogies like a rock chicklet…and getting all Puritan when the rock chicklet grows up into not quite the right kind of daughter they were hoping for, more grunge than Gouri. One has to wonder who the real problem lies with. I have noticed that boys seem to be given a hero’s welcome when they have heterosexual sexual encounters, whereas girls are ostracized for that. It does not get better as they grow up either. I am certain that popularity or peer acceptance is more for boys who are seen to have more partners than for girls who have more than one partner, in which case she is more often than not labeled as an easy opportunity, the dreaded S word. Strange how even in the liberated West, there is such a premium placed on being sexless and virginal while also pushing kids to wear makeup and clothes that would once have seemed more at home in their mother’s closets.

Much of the response my colleague and her friends have are entrenched in her belief that the high school will be encouraging children to have sex. Quite frankly, I disagree. The fact of the matter is, sex is an extremely personal decision. The availability of free condoms might influence somebody's decision on whether or not to have sex. Nothing more than that.

But condoms are easily available in any pharmacy. Any kid who wants to have sex that badly will buy them, or just have sex without them. Personally, I have heard several stories of teenagers who didn't have the money to buy condoms, which, let's face it, can get expensive. Did they decide not to have sex? No. They decided not to use a condom.

I might be more inclined to be wary on the matter if these condoms were being distributed at an event for middle schoolers. The one thing that I found mildly odd? The condoms have been supplied by Nando’s, a Portuguese fried chicken chain that has offered free condoms at high school across the state. While it's a great marketing tactic, it seems a tad 'immoral' to me. Don't get me wrong: the idea is still a good one. But I would have been far more comfortable if the condom idea came from a person who actually cared about these kids' safety, not a chicken franchise who was trying to get in some free advertising. At least we are lucky they are not chicken flavoured!

But the point is: handing out free condoms at high school isn't immoral. It's smart. If these kids are going to have sex, they're going to have sex, and there's really nothing we can do to stop them. What we can do? Educate them about the dangers of unsafe sex. If that means handing out condoms at school, then, by all means hand out condoms at school.